May 17, 2012


Galatians 5:22-23

New International Version (NIV)

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 

Where I most need it, I am tested most also.

Way back in 1997, I had the privilege of knowing a special lady.  We worked together in one of our church's church planting.  They were a missionary couple who volunteered to join us in this new ground.  They came from Nebraska.

With them we learned so many things.  I have been into trainings and seminars on evangelism but it is by their example in the fields, that I learned the most.

We went together for outreach, used every openings there were available, including the Samaritan's Purse's Christmas Child gift boxes.  Included in these boxes are tracts for child evangelism and materials for sharing.  We knocked on doors and came in armed with these bundles.  We saw the smiles and the joys in the children's eyes as they opened their gifts.  Along with this we came into their homes bringing Jesus and God's love.  And more parents knew Jesus in these encounters.

They also taught us how to handle Small groups using their own simple method.  I kept in my heart our Motto, "People over Program,"  which mattered the most.  This has given me courage and confidence to lead under their tutelage.  

This lady exuded so much gentleness, which was so achingly lacking in me.  There are times I spark and flare at a provocation.  Although oftentimes, I am able to contain it inside.... still I flare inside.  Being held back never excuses me of submitting to anger.

I began to wish I am more gentle, like my mentor.  And Oh, she also had the grace to enroll me for free in a class for Counseling.  She so wanted me to join the class offered in our Bible School under one of their Missionary colleagues.  So I did too.

And so my journey for gentleness began.  I slipped so many times.  Countless times.

Inside I still am not that which I so desire.  The enemy has, always, a new ploy to set up in my road.  He puts roadblocks and even a mountain too high to climb up...... there, up there, lies my GENTLENESS pedestal, set so high, I don't think I can tackle it halfway.

Just last night, I struck a raw surface with my precious son, who is graduating from the Alternative Learning System today.  Of course, I am rejoicing and have danced in thanksgiving to the Lord, for it is an answered prayer.  He is an academically challenged guy which could have been better home-schooled.  

And now he is going to parade among the 700 or so proud ALS graduate.  They come in all walks and ages, but under the same challenge.  Some had to work for the family and dropped out while some never really had a formal schooling due to varied reasons.

He came home late last night while I was in bed already.  He needed to find his black shoes to wear with the Toga and black pants.  So there, the spark kindled and I went off..... inside,  mind you, I did not have the power to flare on the outside, knowing he is in the JOY of his life state.... knowing that he has given me my most HOPED-for-a long time event. ..... silently but surely, flared I went up.  He did not look for the missing shoes during the day but had chosen to do on the last minute.

Thanks God, I found it this morning..... what with my memory needing an upgrade.  Hah..... sigh!


And Oh for gentleness..... I seek and I slip and I seek again, with Your help, Oh God! 



  1. I often think of something similar when I'm driving. Sometimes it is so challenging with people rushing to pass just so they can be first, so many trucks on the road and everyone speeding much faster than limits, or going so slow it is ridiculous. I can be praying one minute and getting angry the next...and over and over again I pray, O forgive me Father for that outbreak... It is so like what Paul wrote about doing what we don't want to do... I am so grateful for His forgiveness that wipes it clean and how it is only His Spirit that flows gentleness through us etc. Your heart is full of gentleness that reflects His, Lolita. God bless you today.

  2. Thank you so much, Pam. I wish God will let it flourish in me.

    Oftentimes, there is retort in my thoughts..... If it is there, even without blurting it out, still it is there.....

    Sometimes, they spring from hurtful words spoken, from unfair treatment, from misinterpretations.... etc. We always respond accordingly, but if kindness and gentleness is automatic, you think of the whys and the hows first, rather than your own feelings.

    I wish I would grow in that character.... but it is hard, as Paul had those contradicting emotions.

  3. I love sassy people :) You sound wonderful to me the way you are :) But that's me.

  4. Oh, V. Thank you for your kind words.. They encourage me to live up to what you find in me. Sighhh....

  5. Lolita-
    Well from one Mom to another-lets just be real honest here-
    WE ARE HUMAN!!! Therefore, STUFF will happen-no matter how hard we work to keep the "Lid" on simmering emotions-it just does!

    You have a heart that touches me each time I read your words, and I am in complete agreement with Veronica-I love you-just for the way you Are!

    Its a daily walk in this life-and we will find challenges every step of the way-its the BRICK walls we run into that are truly some of the deepest struggles we must face.

    But Lolita-you are doing it and shining at it. Nobody is perfect-just one-Jesus!

    I think you are right on target my dear friend. God loves you!

    So Do I!!


  6. Dear Martha,

    Thank you for always, for keeping me company and sharing my ups and downs.... in the struggle called life and in the hopes called heaven.

    You who is in constant battle over body pains.... and who lifts it up to God, is so being here for us.

    Thank you dear, thank you.

  7. The first Scripture that the Lord taught me was Ephesians 6:10 when I got involved in a spiritual battle in my family. I was already a born-again Christian but let's just say I wasn't in tuned with His Word. No wonder! We battle not by our might but with His. I find much later, the Lord was grooming me, preparing me for what would be tough spiritual battles at my workplace. I believe when we are strong in His power, it is easy to overcome anything. Yet, with our old system that still doesn't fail to operate sometimes, we do battle against the wars in our hearts. We are all a big work in progress and I just pray that we will always remain strong in His mighty power! God bless you sister and so happy for your son! God bless him and direct him in everything. Same with you.

  8. For years I always wanted to be like my husband...quiet, gentle, kind instead of hot headed, quick to speak my mind.

    It's taken a few years but I have come to realize he too struggle with anger, he is just better at suppressing it then me. We all deal with anger, disappointments, is the spirit of God that causes us to even desire to respond with gentleness. AND WE WILL ALL THE TIME...IN HEAVEN but not here where the battle wages for our joy.

    It took me a while to learn conviction was sharp but a clean sword that cuts quickly but come out as quick. Condemnation rubs our face in our lack of gentleness especially our self condemnation. Forgivness is quick also, It takes so little time to utter the prayer, Father forgive me for I have sined and I John quickly does it ministry in our heart. Washed clean again, blotted out again, buried in the deepest part of the sea.

    I am a like Veronica and Martha, a little son tells me, Mom you would not be my Mom if you were any other way. I think Paul was a little sassy too my friend.

    I love this post, I could have wrote it word for word for my anger is not the suppressed kind...thank God His love does not depend on our preformance to be poured out...and girl it is Him who pours words out through your blog. Get away enemy from our friend Loiita..stomp, stomp, stomp. Blessings

  9. I was thinking some more about you and this post today, Lolita... and a couple more thoughts came to mind. I love that verse about thinking on whatever is lovely. Sometimes we have to consciously do a right turn to think lovely, don't we? :) But I know... We are not always responsible for thoughts that pop into our minds (like anger spouting)... but more and more as we turn to Him he can put that gentle response in us till it becomes more and more second nature the way we want. I've been asking Him to fill my dreams with everything lovely etc. lately, and praying it spills over in to my waking hours too... Just some thoughts to uplift you. Your heart shines...

  10. "Oh for gentleness, I make progress and slip..." etc. -- I agree. Me too, Lolita. Thank you.

    And regarding your comment on my site, yes, it is a treasure to have a dad who helps me visualize a Heavenly Abba too. I am so grateful!

    How are you doing today?

    Jennifer Dougan

  11. @Rosel,

    Darling Rosel, I so like the way you put it.... the old system at war with the ways of God..... yes, we are in the flesh and the battle would be won only through God's words.

    Thank you for your wishes for my son and me.

    My warm thoughts to you as you continue doing service to your patients..... as well as sharing your soul to them.

  12. @Betty,

    There are also those times that being a little sassy is helpful when we speak in truth.... but we should not forget to do anything in love.

    suppressing one's anger is a sure way not to hurt the other, but still there it was inside of us.... I should have liked to have it more second nature like Pam is saying.... I wish it is not only in my desires but in action too.

    Thank you Betty, yes I know when I write God uses my Pen.... because I could not utter anything without His bidding.

    Hugs to you and to your dear partner in life and to your Ministry... blessings!

  13. Pam, thanks for thinking about me and I know you are holding me in your prayers as I do you.

    Your heart shines too in your posts and in your daily dealings with others.

    Wishing you every little wish you utter up to God.

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  15. @Jen,

    Thanks for coming bye again, Jennifer. I am fine and I am so grateful for your concern.

    I printed your daily prayers/verses/scripture for my children.

    Thanks for sharing those.


Thanks for your company. I am glad you are here. Your encouraging word is appreciated. It brings joy like a cool breeze on a hot day. GBU!