March 30, 2012


I said, " The path is steep." 
He said, " I'm at your side."
 I said, "But I am weak."
... He said, "For you I died."

I said, "Dark valleys come."

He said, "I'll guide you through."

I said, "But I'm not brave."

He said, "I'll walk with you."

I said, "Be light to me,

And strength as I go on."

He said, "I'm more. I'm love,

You'll never walk alone."
"Go for that interview, Lolita," my friend nudged me.  "But I don't think I could handle the responsibility."  I replied.
"Lolita, it is about time you go on that trip to our branch," my boss told me.  "But, Boss, I still have something to finish here,"  I countered, knowing deep inside that I am using delaying tactics.  The real reason is that I am no longer keen on taking air travel.  I don't like to ride boats either because of so many cases of boats sinking.
My stepbrother who is now based in Canada, who have done a great job in migrating his full-blood siblings over, asked me one time to go and look for on-line job opportunities so I can also go.  What do you think Mr. But did?  Well, of course, he won again.
There were lots of opportunities lost, relationships marred, and souls won for Christ, if BUTS did not block the way.
I like the conversation  going on, that goes with the picture, I can see my but-self in the story.  Once again, I found this among a hoard of inspirational quotes tagged to me by a faithful friend.  He does his silent evangelism over at FB.
There are a wealth of treasure that can be found in these picture tracts.  I delight in claiming my portion from these too.
The greatest counter-attack of Faith is FEAR. Fear of the unknown, fear of what will come our way, fear of climbing up on another limb.  We fear moves that would send us out of comfort zone.
I am a complete example of this.  When I was younger, armed with my diploma and professional practice license, I had a great drive.  Unfortunately during those times, opportunities were lesser.  Presently, there are lots of new and exciting careers that may take one across to new worlds, with high pay.  
The loser in me will say, "well I was just born in between the business boom eras,  I am content of being this way."  
My siblings are now globetrotters, going places with their high-paying jobs.  I remembered the time when my younger sister who works in an economic zone in Vietnam, asked me if I was willing to go with her and be their accountant.  I declined saying that it is too late for me, that it should have come when I was not yet hypertensive.  Perhaps my nerves shrunk together with my confidence in that fateful moment I had my mild stroke.  Short of saying, I lost a lot of opportunities because I gave in to my BUT buddy.
Anyway, I am content where I am (sweet-lemoning?), although not perfectly but fine.  I like my volunteering job at the children's center in church and going some places to review sponsored partner funds.  I have a few bookkeeping clients who have been loyal to me until the end.  Don't take this as being ungrateful, I am so blessed to have my jobs and sidelines.  I praise God for them and for how He has taken cared of us.  I am content.  I just had to share my but-moments.
I don't envy my siblings (well honestly, just a little).   In fact, I am very happy for them.  There are benefits too, like my Mother, who is now an immigrant to NY.  I have that in my long list of blessings, if not me, then it should be my Mama.  It is a very comforting thing to see her in good health, that she can tackle the long flight back home, and the evidence of living where she is now keeps me in awe of God.  She has seen several autumns in Central Park and has gone apple picking even when the snow came earlier last year.
Pssst, can I add another negative-resident in my brain?  What if I took opportunities?  Would I have been able to realize dreams that were born, which eventually died, if the but did not interfere?
Here I am in front of my PC typing away.  I am in a place God planted me and I am willing to grow in this soil, bear fruits and thrive for Him.
What if, what if, if only, sigh, snort!!.......
Ohhh! Two of my resident anti-Faith-plaques are tumbling around the washer and ready to drain........ go, go, go away.  Currently cleaning up.
This is a powerful read:  The "Unstoppable" Negative Thought