July 13, 2012

10 MINUTE WRITING BURST-MISTY

NOTE I want you to know that this is semi-fiction.  I was just writing this as an exercise.  I am now reading through some creative writing tips online.   

One thing is certain though, this one is so me. 

In my notepad, I wrote without editing.  Therefore, this version is now edited (as best I could being a baby creative wanna-be).

Perhaps, as I go on, I will make my Fridays' post a creative writing burst Friday.  Who knows, I could improve with practice.  Oh no, I am not wishing to be a commissioned published writer.

Thanks for coming to my first 10 Minute Writing Burst entitled Misty.
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PHOTO SOURCE
The frost in my heart mingles with the whizzing of the wiper on the windshield.  We are driving through the downpour in cosmopolitan afternoon.

Silent in my seat, my thoughts went to the season of make-believe.  I hunger for the moments less tinted by many woes and regrets.

What if this was so and that was not?

Would it have been better?

I shift on the bucket seat at a stop light.  Still immersed in my own reverie, I feel him gaze at me.  Perhaps he is wondering at my silence.  Is it a welcome treat or a wished for space?

What is it about the rain that makes me feel gloomy and expectant at the same time?

PHOTO SOURCE


The light goes Red.  I am staring at the wiper.  It goes back and forth, left, right, left, right, like a parody of my own self-doubt and confidence.  It goes on and on, making me dwell in my thoughts even more. Now it hisses, "ugly, ugly, unlovable, unlovable, that's what you are!"

The mist on the windshield gathers and the sight makes me want to cry.  Some void in my chest wants to creep up.  What is it then?  I can not point a finger at where the melancholy lies.

“Down the gray street, faceless people, under black umbrellas, roll by with the familiar scenery.” Some are in raincoats dripping on corners, waiting for their light.  I feel like inside one with the grayest color tagged despair.  When will the rain inside stop?  Will it hurt to strip of them?

The miles are eaten up at minimum speed.

EDITED
He reaches out for my hand then squeezes it.  Before reclaiming the steering wheel, he places the now semi-frozen hand upon his right thigh.  His warmth traveled swiftly to my equally freezing heart.  There is a little jolt as I begin melting down.  Like ice cream on a sunny day?

Like a child, given a delightful treat, my lips curves up a bit.

Why does doubt crawl unbidden?

"There is nothing to doubt because I am greater than anything and you are special to me," the still small voice whispers.  I know that, Lord! 

Why then, are there times gloomy tries to find space in my heart and even in my mind.  Ah, misty evenings.  Perhaps, they render those.

I snuggle closer to his side.  I give out a little sigh.

I am not perfect, he too isn’t.  But God is.  He will perfect us when the time comes.

The gate looms closer and home is warm in my heart, cozy in my mind.

I think of Misty.  I hope he doesn't come back.The thought makes me shudder, I feel like a traitor.

Nothing else should dwell in my heart and in my mind.  Only His promises.


Joshua 24:19

Then Joshua warned the people, "You are not able to serve the LORD, for he is a holy and jealous God. He will not forgive your rebellion and your sins.


Was I making an idol out of feeling inadequate?





CLICK HERE




I’m joining Michelle today for Graceful Summer, even though our summers in the Orient often are spent with rain and storms.






22 comments:

  1. OH..MY..GOODNESS!! LOLITA!!! This is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!! I am so moved by how God is moving words and pictures in your writing and in your heart. Please, I'm going to say this honestly... this is one of the best things you have written. And I want to ask you to pray about sending it out to a publisher of maybe some devotional magazine. I could try and think of some who might use this type of piece. I know you are humble and that is good, but sometimes that can hold God back from what He wants to do through us. Don't discount that God may want to use your writing in other ways. This is just a really special piece. At the very least, I think you should "link" it up with another blog so more people will read this. Today on Shelly's blog, she is linking to one at the bottom of her post that I think might be a perfect link for you. If you don't know how to do it, let me know and I can tell you.

    O Lord, thank you for writing your words across Lolita's mind and heart and into ours!

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  2. Thank you, Pam. What sweet words. You always inspire me to write more. In yours, in Shelly's and in Laura at the Wellspring, you make me dwell in those kinds of imagery. I think my readings has some effect on the way I write. My heart flows with the colors and sounds, even smell of the moment .... in what I read.

    I went to the Wellspring yesterday and this affronted me: http://www.lauraboggess.com/2012/07/new-country.html.

    I felt as though I was sprawled on the floor with Laura, forehead touching the floor of her dining room. She is having a hard time adjusting to her new place and is pining for the familiar of the old home. She was listening to God's instructions.

    I felt what she felt. And maybe, that too affected my writing.

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  3. BTW, Pam. When I was at Laura's, I scan down the comments and saw Shelly's at the bottom.


    When I read at the Wellspring, I go on tiptoe and I often leave without a trace. Up 'til now, I am at awe at her words. The starkness and vulnerability she evokes makes me go still.

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  4. How those thoughts come to us unbidden, that we are worthless, but as the rain washes away the dust we realize where those thoughts (lies) come from. Yes that one who is seated next to us is guiding our hand as we steer and he settles our heart to know the truth. We are loved and are special in God's sight and that is what matters.

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  5. Thank you for the visit, Hazel.

    You make my spirit dance.

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  6. I am so touch with this post. It made me teary eyed. You are truly have the gift of writing. I feel that I am travelling with you, feeling what your felt and I am really inspired. All yor post are really worth reading and sharing. God bless you more Lolita. I am so happy that our paths crossed. And I hope you can published a book one day, coz you have much to share.

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  7. Lolitia...

    I don't think I have words to convey my heart. It is soaring reading your work of fiction. I ditto what the others have written and it definitely is a devotional piece. It is defintely excellent writing! Your imagery is a gift. I can't imagine Lolita without her writings anymore. Your gift is flourishing!

    I am so blessed.

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  8. Lolita, I can tell yes, that you are inspired by the blogs you are reading...but your writing is definitely your own flight from there, God giving you another facet maybe, but it is definitely soaring on its own path. I love that he can inspire others from each of us...

    BTW, I love your new words under "post a comment" :)

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  9. Lolita... I just noticed you linked this story also. Good idea!

    Just wanted to let you know.. Unfortunately, it doesn't work though to link those pictures of Shelly's and mine this way from your blog... it just brings us to the picture you have put there. We don't have linky on our sites... You could always just put a URL link beneath those pictures if you want though so if people click on the URL or copy and paste it into their browser it will take them there...

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  10. I can sure relate to the repeated criticisms of that wiper blade - I've heard those before!

    Grateful you've linked up this piece at Graceful Summer, Lolita - and way to go on being creativity brave!

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  11. @Michelle,

    Thank you for your linky. I enjoyed reading your post and some of the others who have linked theirs at Graceful Summers. I came from Pam's and from Shelly's and it made me try to link-up.

    Thanks for coming over.

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  12. @Joy,

    Thank you for your lovely words, Joy.

    I enjoy going to your site too and looking at the beautiful spots you are blessed with to call home and the other places you've visited. It's like being with you on the same spot.

    You take lovely pictures.

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  13. Pam, thank you.

    If you click on the image it takes you to the file folder. But if you click the word CLICK HERE, it will go to the blogs.

    It is unfortunate that blogger does not accept html on the body.

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  14. Oh, I see that now! :) Great!

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  15. Lolita...beautiful my sister, just beautiful. I am reading a deeper side of you in your post. I am like the other girls...do something with this deepness. Blessings

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  16. Oh, my Betty.

    I am always joyful for some inspirations coming from you, knowing you are the deepest in terms of experience and walk with our Lord, who shapes your hallways for you.

    Blessed always as you said before that He shapes them and you just adjust to the shapes of whatever hallway he lets you go through.

    Hugs, dear Betty.

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  17. Good morning Lolita,

    Someone mentioned the Philippines this weekend, and I smiled and thought of you.

    Good job for trying new writing and for continuing to work on your craft. We all need to do that. Keep writing, keep reading, keep writing it all. :) Your line here "Why does doubt crawl unbidden?" is poignant and attention-grabbing.

    Thanks for your comments on my site. "Time when one needs to tread at a pace God directs" -- you said. Yes, I like that and I agree.

    Jennifer Dougan
    www.jenniferdougan.com

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  18. Beautiful emotional writing, Lolita. God has a plan for it all--and more importantly, you!

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  19. Hi Lolita... Every time I come here your blog looks different! You make me smile with your creativity! Love this new look. :)

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  20. Pam, I liked the notebook look, but it makes me feel confined. I don't know why, perhaps it spurs from my love of expanse and magnitude, like how I look at God.

    Thanks.

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  21. @Jen,

    You always make me humble by visiting and reading my equally humble musings.

    Thank you also for appreciating my quest to hone writing abilities.

    I am always loving your subtle way of writing ans so much in the ordinary emotions everyone can relate to.

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  22. Ms. Pamela,

    Thanks for your lovely comments.

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Thanks for your company. I am glad you are here. Your encouraging word is appreciated. It brings joy like a cool breeze on a hot day. GBU!